Snarkastic

that's quite an erector set

Daddy Dearest passed along some Blaine photos of the stadium renovations. OooOOooooh:

Purty, but when I git famous I'ma donate a bunch of money to make them put the V-O-L-S back above the endzone.

soclose soclose

LOOKIT TENNIS LOOKIT

First tennis feature for SBN! I get a banner! WHEEE!

and now, otters!

This is the lazy Sunday the Lord hath made, and we are using it to watch this A BILLIONTY TIMES.

Sunday mailbag! (I had to Google "Alex P. Keaton.")

Prologue: Assorted Facebook unpleasantries that we will not go into here, because our mommas all read this site and when HIS momma reads this site we would like for her to not go running to Miz Naincy.

From: trey.jones379@gmail.com
Date: August 29, 2010 12:47:10 AM EDT
To: wolfbearclownshark
Subject: Twitter

Are you really that contemptuous of Tea Partiers? I'm too socially liberal to have much common ground with those folks. However, I can manage being friends and acquaintances with the Rush Limbaugh crowd and the Rachel Maddow crowd. Why only limit yourself to folks who think just like you? Seems narrow-minded, intolerant, and a bit cunty. I hope Doug impregnates you with a lil' Alex P. Keaton.

From: wolfbearclownshark
Date: August 29, 2010 10:03:34 AM EDT
To: trey.jones379@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Twitter

The nice thing about Twitter is it's a subscription service. I can choose not to continue reading folks spewing real, actual hate speech, fine football fans though they may be. You can have no frame of reference for what I saw and whom I unfollowed/unfriended yesterday, but if my being put off by old schoolmates calling the President a "fag-nigger" on the internet offends you, that same unfollow button's ready when you are. And congratulations on working up to "cunty." That took moxie!

Have a great day,
Holly

my beloved the inventor

Dolla Bill: "I invented a new cupholder! Wanna see?"

also, your student section is terrible [proffers wrists]

I haven't slept. Refraining from clowning on USC too much continues to do me no good at all. Last night Trogan fans took a commanding first place on the creepshow leaderboard with the arrival of an email from a fellow in the 213 who would very much like to sexually assault me and who has discovered my home address!

I used to post these and got a real kick out of giggling through them with y'all, but a) THIS GUY SENT ME A GOOGLE MAPS PICTURE OF MY HOUSE, and b) in the back of my head I'm worried about how publicizing stuff like this might affect my professional advancement. How fucked up is that?

(This last, by the way, puts "rape threats from USC fans in the last eight months" ahead of "rape threats from Ohio State and Notre Dame fans in the last four years" in the grand inbox tally. Way to finish the drill, y'all. That is a lofty bar to clear.)

But anyway. I think I'm about done mollycoddling Those People, since I'm apparently someone who's asking to be raped either way. And by way of reply, Tunison suggested I hit back with "HERE IS A GOOGLE MAPS IMAGE OF YOUR MOTHER." That's a start. Along with a picture of Snuffleupagus.

Laff Riot 151: All Together Now

3:36:15 PM Nastinchka: So, I just read "dual-threat quarterback Terrelle Pryor" as "duh-threat quarterback Terrelle Pryor"
3:36:21 PM Nastinchka: and my first thought was not that I'd misread
3:36:26 PM Nastinchka: but "Wait, that's Boeckman!"
3:36:26 PM Swindle: But that you meant that
3:36:39 PM Nastinchka: "Who is this hack writer mixing up their An Ohio State quarterbacks?!"
3:36:57 PM Nastinchka: For one flash of one moment I was sure someone had mixed up Pryor and Boeckman
3:37:04 PM Nastinchka: Coming down from that wasn't happy

10:52:48 AM TGB: what are those crazy deep sea fish with all the giant teeth
10:52:57 AM Nastinchka: Like in Nemo? I dunno
10:53:03 AM TGB: like they have a whole grill of 'em
10:53:09 AM TGB: in real life
10:53:10 AM TGB: hmmm
10:53:16 AM TGB: this is gonna take a while to google
10:53:29 AM Nastinchka: OH god WAIT
10:53:31 AM Nastinchka: that's a lantern fish
10:53:35 AM Nastinchka: DO NOT GOOGLE
10:53:41 AM Nastinchka: I will not sleep tonight
10:54:04 AM TGB: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
10:54:12 AM Nastinchka: I TOLD YOU
10:54:13 AM TGB: INSTINCTIVELY RETRACTED TOES
10:54:21 AM TGB: Thank you. I KNEW you'd know!

Continue reading "Laff Riot 151: All Together Now"

one of the smartest people I know wrote this:

Sue Bird and Lauren Jackson are great, but Seattle deserves Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp.

As an avowed non-fan of all professional basketball I probably shouldn't care, and this is pulled out of context from a larger point, but that doesn't make it less SO REALLY STUPID. LET'S GET SOME DUDES RAWK.

West Jaunt '10: The last and best thing

... OK, the wedding was wonderful (in addition to being, like, the actual purpose for the trip) and so was the Shakespeare and so was seeing all my dear Westie besties, but then we found out The Encounter was reopened and spent our last afternoon there before hopping a plane home. Not as grand as it would have been lit up at night, but STILL. Surreptitious series of pictures (we were unclear on photography rules and the place was deserted at 11 on a Monday) follow:

Continue reading "West Jaunt '10: The last and best thing"

shake it shake it shake it speare

Angeleno/as, you MUST avail yourselves of ISC's Much Ado before it vanishes from sight forever. You have until the 29th. It's being performed on an eensy little set at the old Griffith Park Zoo, right next to where they used to keep the zoo bears in caves (seriously):

My awesome friend and mentor Ron Bashford is directing, and the show is a beautiful little gem. Even if Much Ado isn't your favorite, this version is more than worth seeing just for David Melville's unique and singularly captivating take on Benedick. But don't take my word for it -- LAT, holla!

Sometimes the best things in life really are free. Case in point: the Independent Shakespeare Company's thoroughly charming revival of "Much Ado About Nothing." Literally a romp in the park, this breeziest of Shakespearean comedies continues the ISC's signature mix of fully professional performances and unstuffy irreverence, presented at no charge as part of the company's mission to bring appreciation of classical theater to a broader public.
[...]
The company employs a distinctive style of diction that preserves line endings in the verse, bucking the trend toward more prosaic delivery that glides over the breaks to bridge overlapping thoughts. Surprisingly, in the hands of capable actors this actually makes the meaning more comprehensible -- who'd have guessed that Shakespeare knew what he was doing?

That last bit is so, so cool for a scansion nerd like me, and sadly rare in modern productions.

West Jaunt '10: misc travels

FROZEN YOGURT IS A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE IN BIRMINGHAM

Continue reading "West Jaunt '10: misc travels"